Things to do at work when you finish all of your projects by noon:

1. Read the entire website of a client for whom you're writing video blog scripts. Attempt to mimic writing style exactly. Realize that will only make you sound stupid. Attempt to make client sound smarter yet still genuine. Results minimal.

2. Watch every video Derren Brown has ever made. Become convinced that your life is a hypnotic illusion.

3. Find a copywriting blog. Read the entire blog.

4. Peruse Chronicle of Higher Education website. Write "nerd" across forehead with black Sharpie.

5. Visit the website of every other advertising agency in Omaha.

6. Creep on LinkedIn instead of Facebook because it looks more professional.

7. Take at least 25 bathroom breaks.

8. Test the reading level of every press release you have written so far. Discover you write, on average, at a college-freshman reading level. Remember that all copy should be written at the sixth-grade level to make it accessible to the widest possible audience. Despair.

9. Read everything Thought Catalog has published within the last week.

10. Watch office buddy use After Effects to change people into zombies.

11. Play KenKen. Smash high score with a 40 second solution. Bask in the excellence of your life, hypnotic illusion or otherwise.