Krista knows me well.

She knew I would write something like this.

Dear (most of) chapter,

The Elizabeth Bird Small award, I quote, "recognizes outstanding leadership within the chapter and on the campus, high scholarship, and personality".

She is a sweet, sweet girl, and she certainly has devoted a large chunk of her time to the sorority. But she does nothing else besides ASA (and school), and her scholarship is...lacking, to put it nicely.

I think that, when you have the choice between someone who fulfills one qualification for an award vs. someone who fulfills maybe two and a half, you should pick the latter person.

I definitely think that you should not play favorites (and I realize that it is hypocritical to say this, as I did the same thing with a different award and used my mad public speaking skills to get my way...I am definitely not pretentious...however, I also based my judgment on who deserved the award the most; it just so happened that that person was also my favorite) when it comes to nominating someone for a major national award.

She is a sweet, sweet girl, but she doesn't have a shot in hell at winning.

Love (with an edge),

your resident realist

While I'm on a roll (thanks, Katie), here's another:

Dear -- (damn moral compass Krista),

You are an incurable whore, and your actions are completely disrespectful of our troops.

Utterly disgusted,

your resident prude

And finally,

Dear study abroad application,

Kiss my ass. (Also, get me out of here.)

Love love love,

Me