"So" is a nice, fluid way to start.

So I've been rereading the Twilight series in preparation for the movie, and I'm plodding along through New Moon, which is not my favorite or my least favorite, and I finally remember why this book was, at one point, a contender for The Worst Book of All Time.



"Your epiphany?" he asked, his voice uneven and strained.

"You love me," I marveled. The sense of conviction and tightness washed through me again.

Though his eyes were still anxious, the crooked smile I loved best flashed across his face. "Truly, I do."



Oh. My. God. You. Stupid. Girl.

Mr. Desk, meet Mr. Head. *faceplant*

I think this is what made me forget. You know, about this possibly being The Worst Book of All Time. The first time I read this, I probably gave myself a concussion and mild amnesia.

Perhaps, rather than New Moon taking the trophy for The Worst Book of All Time (because truly, it's not; I love it dearly), Bella Swan needs to take the trophy for Densest Character Ever Created.

Honestly. Sometimes, I think that if I were Edward, I would run away. Fast. Because, my darling, you have a child for a wife. Yes, dear, I know this is a huge blow to your ego, and that you have been blinded by your love that is so Epic and True, but seriously.

I know now why I never was completely comfortable with Kristen Stewart being cast as Bella: she acts too old for the role she's playing. And yes, Bella is supposed to be mature--Renee likes to comment that she was "never a teenager"--but when you compare her thoughts to Edward's, or Alice's, or even, God forbid, Rosalie's, she's such a child. I suppose it's not quite fair to put an 18-year-old girl next to several hundred-year-old vampires, but you know, for Bella the Super Awesome Vampire, you would expect a little more emotional maturity. Or maybe some logic? I don't know.

Thank God for Alice and Jasper. Alice and Jasper, how I love thee. And Edward. Hey Edward, when you finally get your head around the fact that you married a mental five-year-old, come see me. My friends and I would love to see you.

Anyway, further conclusions I have reached upon rereading the Twilight series:
-Edward is shmexy. But I think we knew this already.
-Alice and Jasper are made of win.
-Bella is whiny.
-Jacob is awesome, but Jacob/Bella is not.
-Aro is a pansy.
-GARRETT GARRETT GARRETT. Garrett is my favorite. Grr, Kate. Back off.

I think it is a sign of some lack of emotional maturity that I become so terribly attached to fictional characters.

Eh, whatever. Whoever needed emotional maturity? Bella didn't.

...

Fictional character schmictional character.