Hello, I manipulate other people's words for a living, and I'm going to criticize you for being straightforward.

(Yay logic?)

Clarification is not clarification if it simply reiterates what has already been said.

Criticism of objectivity is nullified when you place words in the writer's mouth.

And when I do you the courtesy of taking time to speak with you, you should do the same before pretending to know what I believe.

(Dear Jenny, Josh, and Kate: blindly believing in something is just as dangerous as concentrating solely on its flaws.)

P.S. I just used the word "pontificate" in a text message. Clearly I am pissed off.