Acceptance Speech

I don’t suppose you particularly care about
My accomplishments and my successes and
My “personal qualities”, but I guess I’ll tell
You, then, things you already know.

I am 6’0”, broad-shouldered, baby-kisser
FAKEFAKEFAKE and
I suppose that the spotlights can’t make
My complexion any worse than it probably already is.
I suppose you can’t really see much, anyway,
Seated so far away, my head a flesh-
Colored speck you could blot away with
Your thumb, smear across the black canvas,
Velvet and cashmere and oh-so-faux that
Maybe a stain could do it some good.
Maybe a stain would give it character.

I don’t pretend to have character or
Possess anything original that my job,
My work life hasn’t forced upon me.
And I don’t pretend to hate my work life
Because it pays the bills on my new Porsche that
My agent insisted that I drive because
It’s got class. But the problem is that
I don’t think I have enough class for it.

But my agent says I’m silly and that it
Works for me. So I drive and smile and wave
Like some parade queen or drag queen or
Someone else in a tiara and a face peeled
From magazine pages. And he told me someday
I’d get noticed, and I suppose he must be right
As I stand here and smile and wave still, and
I figure I must be getting pretty good at it,
What with this trophy I have now and all.
It’s a nice trophy, gold, like a cat I once had,
You know, before life hit me and I realized
I was allergic, and so the cat went away,
And now I have this small statue, a small
Me, and I can’t help but think that when
I used to look in the mirror, I didn’t look
Anything like that.
I wonder what I look like now.