so live.

an explanation of our personalities:

2012-02-12T16:19:00.003-06:00

Scene: Krista and I spot a case full of various paraphernalia at the antique mall.

Krista: Oh look, rings!

Anna: Oh look, knives!

There is an anarchist group in Greece...

2012-02-10T19:34:00.002-06:00

...that calls itself the Erotic Anti-Authority Cell.

...oh dear.

literally

2012-02-09T22:45:00.004-06:00

If my sidebar is any indication, I only read young adult dystopian fiction and German coming-of-age novels.

(I have also read part of a French newspaper and an academic paper on offsetting behavior in relation to seat belt laws this week. Variety!)

sexy and I know it

2012-02-09T22:37:00.002-06:00

This week, I have been:

-accepted to present my research at the 2012 Notre Dame Peace Conference. Whoo!

-offered and accepted a teaching assistant position for spring term. Double whoo!

-invited to have dinner with Robin Wright. I do not even care that no one outside of Middle Eastern affairs/journalism knows who she is. I have conveniently hyperlinked her name for you so that you too may become aware of her brilliance.

This weekend, Katie and Krista are coming to visit, Audrey is cooking salmon, the Historical Society is putting on its annual chocolate festival, and I have more to do than I'd like to think about, but that doesn't matter because of chocolate and salmon and humans, oh my!

I think I am live blogging my research.

2012-02-04T13:14:00.002-06:00

What on Earth was the Communist Party of India doing staging an attack in Iraq?

(To be fair, they're only suspected of perpetrating said attack, but a suspicion has to come from somewhere. Also: what?)

research, part 2

2012-02-04T13:05:00.002-06:00

There were more documented indigenous terrorist attacks in India in 2010 than there were in Afghanistan.

Do we attribute this to poorer reporting mechanisms in Afghanistan, or does it say something about fundamental differences in these societies that spawn different amounts (and types; terrorism in India is mostly left-wing, while terrorism in Afghanistan is pretty much exclusively religious) of attacks?

...I love what I do.

research.

2012-02-03T19:40:00.002-06:00

There were 649 documented terrorist attacks in India in 2010.

I know this because I counted all of them.

ACH.

courseschedule

2012-01-30T20:31:00.004-06:00

The dilemma: both are offered 5s TT.

1. Politics and Literature, which combines my two of my three greatest loves (international affairs and German; sadly, I doubt that cheese is involved) and is being taught by one of my favorite professors. Oh, and all the cool people will be taking it.

2. The Editorial Process, a really fascinating-sounding class that combines editorial technique and policy, media law and magazine journalism and is being taught by the former editor-in-chief of Chicago Magazine, Dick Babcock. Unfortunate name aside, this is a sweet opportunity.

In other news, I have made you a playlist. It is called "Pump You Up With Electro-House Remixes and Then Confuse Your Adrenaline-Addled Brain With Foreign Languages and Glee Covers Playlist." You're welcome.

1. Steed Lord: Royal Ruffian (Steed Lord Club Mix)

2. Seeed: Dickes B

3. The Airborne Toxic Event: Welcome to Your Wedding Day

4. District 78: Wanna Get Hype

5. Florence and the Machine: Cosmic Love

6. Passion Pit: Moth's Wings

7. Swedish House Mafia: Save the World (Knife Party Remix)

8. Grant Gustin and Naya Rivera: Smooth Criminal (Glee Cast Version0

9. Iron and Wine: Freedom Hangs Like Heaven

10. Grands Corps Malade: Roméo kiffe Juliette

11. Death Cab for Cutie: Meet Me on the Equinox

12. The Wombats: Anti-D

13. Culcha Candela: Schöne Neue Welt

14. Britney Spears: Till the World Ends (No Judgment Allowed Remix)

15. Renan Luce: La Lettre

les éoliennes

2012-01-26T20:45:00.004-06:00

So far, this French news broadcast I am watching seems to be about a guy who hates wind turbines. I think I can make that fact into about three sentences. Only nine more to go!

In other news, taking a poll: to apply for an RA position or not to apply?

(Pros: own room, $1,800, complete avoidance of the annual housing problem. Cons: having to do things.)

My priorities are clearly in order.

victory

2012-01-21T22:57:00.001-06:00

About four months ago, I bought a pocket watch sort of necklace from a vendor at the Turkish Market in Kreuzberg for 7 euros (roughly ten American dollars at the time). Today, I saw an identical necklace on ModCloth for $24.99.

Take that, Internet. I WIN.

don't you know I just

2012-01-20T20:40:00.003-06:00

Lately, I've been really inspired by this (and electronic/trance/house in general; think that's a little bit of Berlin coming out in me).

jump rope

2012-01-16T23:02:00.003-06:00

Up: Todd is in his office to sign my form to allow my study abroad credits to count towards my major. Todd is never in his office. Good work, Todd.

Up: Unexpected lunch with Val, who is still convinced that Sandor Clegane maybe, somewhere, is alive. Oh, Val.

Down: Waiting 30 minutes to interview Teresa and making increasingly frustrated noises until her secretary finally more or less insisted that she stop talking to Tom already.

Up: Successful interview. (Finally. Sorry. My punctuality complex may still be a little miffed.)

Rock bottom: Finding out that I completely misunderstood my French homework, and while what I did produce was decent work, that fact was not enough to keep it out of the seventh circle of Grade Hell. Icing on the cake: I was finally convinced that I didn't completely suck at French. Jumping to conclusions, whoo!

Up: Excellent interview with the IMCT.

Up, up, up: New writers at TKS meeting! Only three stories left on our budget! Charlie and I are two people, so this is easy to cover! I need to start being excited about normal things!

Down: Burned self with pizza. Classy.

the death of Dear Roommate

2012-01-13T22:09:00.003-06:00

...as you are now reading the Anna's Adventures With French blog.

In other news, I AM APPARENTLY GOOD AT WRITING IN FRENCH.

(Ou, je peux écrire apparemment en français.)

Trying to ignore the fact that I have to have a conversation with a native French speaker on Wednesday. Oh dear oh dear.

Dear French professor,

2012-01-09T22:20:00.002-06:00

I am well aware that the construction "Je ai" (I have) does not exist in French. I know that you form a contraction to get "J'ai." But I can barely speak French (read and write, but not speak), and if I start a past tense sentence with "Je," know that I will correct myself once I have put the sentence together in my head. This may take a moment. Please let me have a little bit of time. Please do not write "J'ai" on the board.

Please be patient with me. I am trying so hard.

Additional observations of things that have changed:

2012-01-06T21:24:00.002-06:00

1. There are stairs on Alumni Hall now. They are ugly, but they exist, so I cannot complain in any reasonable world. But the world is not reasonable, so: ugly.

2. There is also incredibly ugly new carpet in Williston. I stare at it too long (read: for about two seconds as I walk up the stairs) and my vision starts to blur.

3. My grape juice moved. For about half of a very agonizing minute, I thought it was gone forever. Luckily, it is simply now on the left and not in the middle (of the juice machines, because you care deeply about this).

4. The International News Room is now the Classics Department. First of all, what. Second of all, departments who have been in the building since the dawn of time are not. happy. Third of all, what.

5. There is now schwarma in the Oak Room on Monday nights. We shall see if it is any good because, oh my goodness, schwarma. I had schwarma for the first time at a hole-in-the-wall place in Amsterdam, where the owner definitely thought that David (who is gay) and Andrea were together. It brings me back to fast food in Europe and how it is nothing like the grease-coated, would-you-like-a-bun-with-your-trans-fat hamburgers here. (Also notable: I wanted a cheeseburger upon my return to the U.S. I went to McDonald's in O'Hare. I told them not to put condiments on my cheeseburger. They put condiments on my cheeseburger. Fuck you, McDonald's.)

6. The registrar has a new website. It is most excellent.

7. I have a new Jack Sparrow poster. This may just be the most exciting thing on this list.

I am most likely going to die.

2012-01-05T12:26:00.002-06:00

I had hoped and prayed that, at the very least, the class would not be conducted in French. It's a 200-level course, so of course this was wishful thinking. Alas, it was not meant to be.

Professor Davis (in French): We're going to go around the circle, and each of you needs to say an adjective that describes you.

Student 1: *first adjective Anna thought of*

Student 2: *second adjective Anna thought of*

Anna: [Adjective someone already said] aussi.

Professor Davis: Aussi?

Anna: Ja...um, oui.

I had to watch a French news broadcast and answer questions about it for homework. I watched parts of that damn broadcast seven or eight times. The assignment took two hours, and several of my answers are still, "I'm not sure, but I think..."

My brain kept thinking it heard German phrases in the broadcast. Alas, it was mistaken.

it never ends

2012-01-03T10:18:00.003-06:00

Back at Knox for less than 24 hours and my (former) sorority is already leaving a bad taste in my mouth. Decision to deactivate = correct decision.

back to [Knox]

2012-01-03T09:58:00.003-06:00

There are new cereal dispensers in the fat cave, butt-ugly chairs in the caf, a bulldozer in front of Alumni Hall, and freshmen running around everywhere.

Welcome back! (And I mean that sincerely. It's so good to be back on campus.)

I miss Knox people. A lot.

2011-11-29T15:22:00.002-06:00

Katy: THE SHIP OF PANHEL IS A HELL SHIP THAT NO ONE SHOULD EVER HAVE TO BE ON. GAAAAH. OR EVEN LOOK AT.

Katy: IT TAKES YOUR BEST CREW MEMBERS AND HURLS THEM AGAINST ROCKS.

Anna: ...somebody does not like the Ship of Panhel.

Katy: If you quote me on that, I will dump chocolate milk on your head.

Andy: I said some nice things about you, amidst the general truth that you are a terrible student. I'm thinking my letter just might be the catalyst to not allowing you back on campus when you come stateside again, just so you know. We kind of need to raise Knox's profile.

Charlie: I'm so glad you're coming back next term.

I do not mean to this into a sorority ranting venue

2011-11-06T15:06:00.003-06:00

(as I turned it into a "Dear Roommate" blog last year). If you want to read non-rant-y, awesome Berlin stuff, you know where to find it.

I was having a mutual venting session with Chris last night, and I said something that surprised me at first, but I think it summed up the problem quite well:

"When you see something that was the best part of your freshman year become the worst part of your sophomore year, it's frustrating, you know?"

When you see the family that accepted you when you didn't know where else to go morph into an entity that can't wait to shove you out the front door, it's psychologically confusing and also, in my mind, immensely insulting, because you've poured your heart and soul into this organization and now it's telling you that that doesn't matter, that it wants to change its identity and you don't fit anymore.

You see the organization flailing, desperately trying to grow and not understanding why it isn't, so it tries the same strategies over and over and falls short again and again, and you know you bring a different approach--you can't say if it's better or worse yet because you haven't been given the opportunity to try it, but you'd daresay that it's better--but it's dismissed as foolhardy. And it's frustrating.

Alumnae who read this: I'll keep you posted on how elections proceed. Alpha love and, more importantly, all of mine.

productivity of a certain flavor

2011-10-24T02:11:00.002-05:00

For a good eight hours yesterday, I did...nothing.

Then, in six hours, I wrote two papers, an article, studied vocabulary, reviewed my readings for tomorrow, and started developing a social media strategy for my internship.

I do not understand myself.

entrepreneurship

2011-10-12T14:45:00.002-05:00

Katy: Are you going to be a g-g big?

Anna: Maybe! If we ever get any new members.

Katy: YOU WILL BE SO OLD.

Katy: You are younger than me, but also older.

Katy: WE HAVE INVENTED TIME TRAVEL.

Anna: WE CAN MARKET THIS AND BECOME RICH.

Anna: Our futures are secure.

next step

2011-10-11T14:55:00.003-05:00

The application period for the Defense Intelligence Agency's summer internship program has officially begun.

Am I really doing this (or trying to do it, anyway)? Yes, yes I am.

dear ex

2011-10-08T14:31:00.004-05:00

You know, it wasn't until I cut you out of my life that I was able to grow. I'd idolized you for so long that I believed your path was the only available one for me. You worked your full-time desk job, volunteered when you had a spare moment, and absorbed yourself in your studies. The campaign you managed fell apart. And still, everything you did was glamorous in my eyes. You had a destination, and it seemed as though you were getting there fast.

But I was young, and I was naive. I know now that you have an impressive resume but not an exceptional one. I have done my own research and found my own opportunities. I write, I teach, I work for the State Department. I have been recognized, not only by abstract judging panels but also by professors I respect and admire. I'm living overseas, speaking another language and navigating a world completely foreign (pun intended) to you.

And what have you done? Plodded along. Taken the chances that have fallen into your lap. Waited. Expected.

As for me, I like a little bit of action myself. And I expect nothing more than this: that I will continue to get out of my life what I put in.

(On that note, it's about time I finished the freelance piece I've been working on all day. Cheerio.)

a sampling of quotations from fall break

2011-10-03T11:01:00.003-05:00

Asher: Chocolate or vanilla?
David (answering for me): Whichever one's cheaper.

Asher: Should Mel Gibson run for president? Why or why not?

David: I don't remember the question...monkeys in space!

Andrea: I like the goody trail. It's like a surprise, but you know exactly where it leads.

Anna: Would you rather be blind or deaf?

Asher: Deaf, because...*sticks arms out and flails*

David: Deaf for sure...we are the people!

Andrea: Wait, are we talking about Amsterdam?
Anna: No. Hell.

David: I feel like you didn't get my joke, which is upsetting, because my jokes are very simple. I can't make a complex joke. I can't even make a complex sentence.

David: If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests?
Andrea: Balls.

Asher: Damnit, we're still in Hamburg! What the fuck.

Everyone, all the time: Tschuss, bis morgen!

ode to my helplessly flailing sorority

2011-09-23T15:06:00.003-05:00

I spoke with Emalie today, who informed me that no one came to ASA's recruitment event last night. She said that the chapter had had a discussion about how to "get our name out and improve our image."

Let me tell you how this can be accomplished:

1. Stop writing all of our announcements, emails, Facebook statuses, etc. in all caps.

2. Stop ending every sentence with five million exclamation points.

3. Exhibit a sense of maturity in all things, not just writing.

4. Fix our GPA and, ya know, encourage members to actually DO things. Besides ASA. And partying.

Oh TKS, how I've missed you.

2011-09-22T11:06:00.000-05:00

Me: [Name] IS AMAZING.
Charlie: I KNOW.
Charlie: I WANT HIM.
Charlie: TO WRITE FOR US FOREVER.

Want.

2011-09-15T13:13:00.001-05:00

He cheated.

2011-09-15T07:14:00.002-05:00

I'd suspected it for a long time, but having proof makes it somehow more real, you know?

Whatevs.

Berlin.

2011-09-09T12:33:00.002-05:00

I've been writing more on my study abroad Tumblr lately, but let me quickly take this opportunity to extend an enormous thank you to Teresa Amott.

Although I'm not on campus right now and don't know the full extent of what's undergoing change, I appreciate two things very much that, thanks to intuition and sources, I'm fairly certain are her doing:

1. Regular updating of the News and Events page on the Knox website. Finally, finally, the college's PR department has a faster turnaround time than the weekly student newspaper.

2. Better information about fellowships and research support. As someone very interested in the Rhodes and Marshall programs, it was a pleasant surprise to see them listed on the events calendar. Perhaps the college will finally stop emphasizing Fulbrights exclusively.

In other non-German related news, I've been reading the Song of Ice and Fire series. (Long books are good for long flights.) As I read, I'm reminded constantly of this article from FP and this lesser-known blog post from Dan Drezner. Drezner makes the claim that politics is not all about power, as it is in the world of the series. It seems his overarching point is that the series is not exactly realistic--as if the dragons weren't indication enough. I would agree, though not for the reasons Drezner poses. In my view, all politics is, at its root, a power struggle, but not every person in the world ultimately thirsts for power, as everyone of noble birth in the series does.

Thoughts?

setting an example

2011-08-27T21:26:00.002-05:00

There was a child at Red Robin tonight who did not finish her macaroni and cheese.

Child, you are a disgrace and deserve to be beaten.

(Also, who orders mac and cheese at Red Robin? Please ignore the dozens of times I've done this.)

What That "Professional" Email Actually Says

2011-08-26T16:19:00.002-05:00

This Thought Catalog piece perfectly describes what we who work in advertising have to deal with on a daily basis.

Ah, those creative differences.

Dear Knoxians,

2011-08-24T20:01:00.002-05:00

Because I am obsessed with planning, I'm laying out my winter term schedule, and I have run into a problem I've never encountered before: I really don't know what to take. I blame fall term; it stole all of the cool classes.

I will definitely be taking French 210. Rumor has it that a visiting professor from Flensburg will be, well, visiting in the winter and teaching a special topics course; if so, I will be taking it. In this situation, I only have to find one more course. The options are:

-Media and Society w/ Amor (which is undoubtedly interesting but not the most relevant thing in the world)

-Statistical Research Methods w/ JPow (would look killer on grad school applications, plus it's with JPow, but those are pretty much the only perks)

-Creative Nonfiction Workshop w/ Cyn (even less relevant than Media and Society, but I have a strange urge to take an upper-level workshop. Also, I love Cyn.)

-American Political Parties w/ Andy (I dislike the American party system, but I enjoy Andy and the course is actually in my field, unlike the other three.)

Every other course being offered in the winter falls into one of three categories: I've already taken it, I don't have the prerequisites for it (read: Con Law II), or I have no interest in it.

So...thoughts?

Humans, I have created a Tumblr.

2011-08-22T16:32:00.002-05:00

In lieu of deleting this blog (because Tasha's right; I'm probably never going to outgrow the need to vent via the Internet), I've made another one for chronicling my Berlin adventures. I'm not linking it here, since I'd like to keep this relatively private and link building is the antithesis of privacy. But chances are I've already followed you on Tumblr, so you can find me that way. Or, you know, the link's on Facebook. (Because Facebook is so private. No. Really.)

fire, fire

2011-08-19T21:21:00.002-05:00

Confession: I have a twisted fascination with the Red Army Faction.

Fact: The Staatsbibliothek in Berlin has a fantastic collection of historical primary source material from the East/West era--perfect.

Myth (that I believed until recently): Left-wing terrorism is basically dead, so there's little to be learned from studying groups like the RAF.

The car arson in Berlin, left-wing terrorism or not, have given my floundering study abroad research project new life, simply because of the fact that many credible sources have rushed to blame the arson on left-wing terrorism. You don't blame something that doesn't exist.

(What I've learned from this incident and subsequent investigation: Left-wing terrorism isn't a big deal in the U.S., but Europe is quite a different story.)

Ladies and gentlemen, I have a project.

surreal

2011-08-17T20:25:00.000-05:00

In less than two weeks, I will be in Berlin.

I don't think it's really hit me yet.

Let the following be known:

2011-08-15T21:22:00.006-05:00

1. The new Alpha Sigma Alpha brand is quite lovely and much more refined than the old one.

2. Richard Hammond is an extremely attractive human being.

3. I am probably too attached to the use of adverbs.

4. Every interesting class at Knox during winter term 2012 is 2nd period MWF (or MWTF). Slight problem.

5. The German word for "oregano" is, helpfully, "oregano".

6. My Facebook "list of inspirational people" consists of a former British foreign service officer, a dead political philosopher, a journalist, a prominent IR scholar, Richard Hammond, and the Oxford comma. I am so cool.

Je gagne tout.

2011-08-14T21:06:00.003-05:00

After coming to the realization that in order to change my second major from Economics to Modern Languages, I'd have to teach myself French, and after starting from scratch and spending ten weeks buried in Paroles, I've tested into French 210, one level higher than where I had to be at minimum.

I don't like to be too self-congratulatory (I spent way too much of my early high school life with my nose in the air), but I think I'll let it slide just this once.

I WIN AT EVERYTHING.

ALL OF THE THINGS, I WIN THEM.

Prenzlauer Berg

2011-08-14T12:37:00.003-05:00

My home for the next four months is so beautiful.

Last summer, I wrote a lot about Georgetown.

2011-08-13T11:00:00.004-05:00

I have a horrible habit of becoming extremely attached to the first thing I come across within a category. In the case of international relations master's programs, this was Georgetown.

But I've had a lot of downtime at work this summer, which I've used to research grad schools in more depth. When I was researching colleges for undergrad, I focused primarily on finding schools that felt right. Aside from that invisible "it" factor that draws you to a place and tells you that you will be happy there, I had three other criteria: the school had to have a decent poli sci/IR department, it couldn't be all female, and it had to be north of the Mason-Dixon line.

It wasn't the most orthodox strategy, perhaps, but so far it seems to have worked. So I momentarily let go of my love for Georgetown, applied the same criteria to grad schools, and started again.

While I still like Georgetown (and starting my sentences with conjunctions), I'm no longer sure that it's the best fit for me.

So, here is a new list:

Grad schools to which I am definitely applying:

George Washington

King's College London

Tufts

Grad schools to which I might apply:

Columbia (this would be on the "definitely" list if only it didn't cost so much)

Georgetown

The Graduate Institute of International and Development Studies, Geneva

Johns Hopkins

Oxford

University of Chicago

University of St. Andrews

input, please

2011-08-08T18:38:00.002-05:00

Ever since a grad school I'm interested in decided to follow me on Twitter, I've become more conscious of the things I post on the Internet. (Google+ can take absolutely no credit for this, although it would like to, wouldn't you, Google+? P.S. I am not a fan of Google+.)

My point: I'm considering deleting all old posts on this blog before I head off to Berlin and turning it into a study abroad blog that I wouldn't be worried about my family reading. For personal stuff, I might get a Tumblr. I might not. At some point, I will outgrow the need to post angsty rants on the Internet. (But I'm probably not there yet.)

Anyway...thoughts?

ThestralFelicis84

2011-08-05T20:19:00.001-05:00

Finally registered for Pottermore. Just waiting on the confirmation email now.

...I am far too excited about this.

Things accomplished on "Things to accomplish before August 29" list so far:

2011-08-03T20:33:00.002-05:00

1. Raided brother's coin collection. Discovered lots of euro coins I gave him after going to Europe in high school. Took them back.

2. Researched portable hard drives. Learned that they are expensive.

3. Found out that Ethernet cables still exist. Am now the proud owner of one.

4. Discovered fantastic internship for which, provided I do not already have two internships when I get to Berlin, I will definitely be applying. (Because the State Department internship, while an amazing opportunity, is ridiculously competitive.)

5. Bought lots of Band-Aids.

6. Bought three seasons of Top Gear on iTunes.

To go: 25 things.

...

genius

2011-07-28T18:55:00.003-05:00

Anna's "I'm Going to See My Grandpa and His Third Wife, Whom Nobody But My Grandpa Likes and Who Is Possibly the Most Clingy Human Being on the Planet; Hence this Playlist is a Combination of Soothing and Brain Numbing and a Little Bit of Crazy" Playlist, With Sporadic Commentary

1. The Cataracs: Bass Down Low (Oh, you know this is gonna be good.)

2. Oasis: Champagne Supernova (And then I go and pick something from the very opposite end of the music spectrum. If the Cataracs were communists, Oasis would be Tea Partiers.)

3. Regina Spektor: Hotel Song (Cocaine!)

4. Smashing Pumpkins: Bullet With Butterfly Wings (This song has made it onto every playlist I have created in the past two years.)

5. Rusted Root: Send Me on My Way

6. Eddie Vedder: You've Got to Hide Your Love Away

7. Old Crow Medicine Show: Wagon Wheel

8. Hey Marseilles: To Travels and Trunks

9. Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes: Home

10. Lady Gaga: Judas

11. Gary Jules: Mad World (This, juxtaposed, with "Judas," is absolutely hilarious.)

12. Iron and Wine: Freedom Hangs Like Heaven

13. Halestorm: It's Not You

14. The Avett Brothers: Head Full of Doubt, Heart Full of Promise

15. Florence and the Machine: Howl

16. Rihanna: S&M (Okay, my music taste officially makes no sense.)

17. Fleetwood Mac: Go Your Own Way (Point proven.)

18. Mumford & Sons: Roll Away Your Stone

19. Flogging Molly: You Won't Make a Fool Out of Me

20. Editors: No Sound But the Wind

21. Josh Ritter: Girl in the War

22. Phoenix: 1901 (Ah, I'm starting to see inklings of logic!)

23. Far East Movement: Like a G6 (...nope.)

24. Mumford & Sons: Little Lion Man

Reading through old conversations with Paige:

2011-07-27T20:44:00.003-05:00

Paige: Guess who this is?

Me: ...me as a boy?

Paige: ...or it's Duane Oldfield.

Also, if you have ever felt uncomfortable with the clothing size you have to buy because your hips won't fit into a smaller dress but your chest is way too small for the size that your hips need (let me tell you: hips suck, man), this is for you.

The Green Hornet is the worst movie ever made.

2011-07-24T11:00:00.003-05:00

(If you know me, you know that Napoleon Dynamite has held this spot in my mind for seven years. For Napoleon Dynamite to be replaced, then, is kind of a big deal.)

Anyway, the premise of the movie (and of the entire Green Hornet franchise) is interesting enough: the vigilantes treading the fine line between heroes and villains. Ignoring the little voice in the back of my head screaming "Batman, Batman!", this is not a bad way to frame the traditional hero story.

However, a premise must be accompanied by a plotline, and The Green Hornet has none. The screenwriter for the film has clearly never encountered a transition in his/her life. He/she also apparently does not realize that not only are there swear words besides "shit" in the English language (I know, I'm partial to "shit" myself, but still), there are also other words besides swear words in the English language.

Final straw: the most awful casting I've seen in a long time. Seth Rogen has no place in a movie that attempts to have some sort of moral (although it fails spectacularly in the execution of this) or storyline more complex than crude jokes (though he makes his fair share of these, and they're not even funny), and the guy who plays Kato is just a really abysmal actor. Both of them are overwhelmingly fake. Then again, maybe that's just the script they've been dealt.

(Full disclosure: I watched about 40 minutes of the movie before turning it off. If you know me, you know I must, must, must start whatever I finish. Also, that I grew up on Batman and thus am hostile to anything that attempts to infringe on the Batman world. Also, that I used to have a crush on Terry from Batman Beyond.)

I miss econ.

2011-07-21T21:22:00.002-05:00

I know, I know: I am the most indecisive, wishy-washy person ever. But you try teaching yourself the equivalent of a year of French in ten weeks and see how long your drive lasts.

I love the language, and I love how quickly my reading comprehension is improving. Mon écrire est médiocre. My spoken French is abysmal, but for now that's okay. It just seems that I've forgotten how difficult it is to learn a new language and to discipline yourself to do so day in and day out when you realize that, no matter how much you study, your brain cannot process roughly 1000 vocabulary words in ten weeks.

I think of econ and nothing good comes to mind. Then I listen to the debate over raising the debt ceiling, and I think: man, this country needs more people who understand economics.

Why Google+ is anathema to college journalism

2011-07-18T21:40:00.004-05:00

Full disclosure: I am predisposed towards creeping. My house has exceptionally thin walls, which I credit for developing my eavesdropping skills at an early age. The rise of social media has only made creeping easier, and I do it unabashedly. I probably know more about your Internet persona than you do.

Anyway, here is reason #72 that I dislike Google+:

Even people who are in my circles can hide things from me. (Granted, you can do this on Facebook too if you know how, even to your friends, but not many people do.) In all reality, this is probably a good thing, as my creeper tendencies should not be indulged. However, it makes it very hard to track down tips and get a sense of the general community mood towards various topics.

Reason #68:

As of now, my "news feed," if you can call it that, is essentially an RSS feed of links to content that have no coherent theme. There are no personal touches or true "status updates," if you will, aside from the occasional "OMG Google+ <3." As a result, Google+ is an awkward mashup of Twitter and Facebook. Not loving it.

Reason #107:

There are no events. Facebook users, given their addiction to Facebook, tend to make Facebook events before announcements show up in campus-wide emails or on the events calendar. Facebook events, as strange as it sounds, break news. On Google+, I don't get any such tips.

Bottom line: news travels slower.

If you know me, you know I cannot stand slow.

UGH.

I will clean up my desk after:

2011-07-17T22:12:00.003-05:00

1. Finishing my personal statement for my internship app and submitting said app.

2. Sending off my freelance applications.

3. Writing articles for the freshman issue of TKS.

4. Testing out of French 103.

5. Getting over the fact that there will not be another Harry Potter book or film and that the final movie was one of the most bittersweet experiences I've had in a long time.

Yeah...working on that.

How to Make a Cake

2011-07-15T21:52:00.002-05:00

1. Obtain casserole dish.

2. Fill casserole dish with ice cream sandwiches.

3. Top with hot fudge.

4. Top with cookies and cream ice cream.

5. Repeat sans cookies and cream.

6. Freeze.

7. Thaw slightly.

8. Eat.

Verdict: death-inducing and delicious.

productivity begets...productivity

2011-07-14T19:14:00.003-05:00

Anna: I am going to be productive tonight and finish my internship application. I should download the rough draft from my email.

Knox email: NO. I AM DOWN FOR MAINTENANCE. SCREW YOU.

Anna: Well, I could reply to my Google+ invites...

Knox email: I EXIST AS AN OBSTACLE TO YOUR PLEASURE AND WELL-BEING.

Anna: Let's see how melodramatic my blog posts were last summer.

Internet: HAHA NO I WILL CRASH.

Anna: ...I will write French essays?

Notebook: C'est la vie.

sehnsucht

2011-07-14T18:57:00.003-05:00

I found the journal I took to Europe with me when I was 16. My awful handwriting notwithstanding, I sound...cultured. Older, somehow. More worldly. It was over three years ago now, but just reading about all that I did on a day in London...I visited Westminster Abbey, saw the crown jewels at the Tower of London, tried to go through Platform 9 and 3/4, and saw "A Midsummer Night's Dream" at the Globe. To think that I was able to do all of that in one day, to absorb all of that culture and history in one day...

I will spend my first three weeks abroad, I am told, studying German for four hours a day and going on excursions to historical and cultural sites around the city.

I cannot wait to be in Berlin.

Why Twitter is a good thing:

2011-07-13T21:36:00.002-05:00

The State Department's feed has informed me of virtual internship opportunities, including doing research for policymakers in Georgia and expanding the web presence of the Bureau of Arms Control, Verification and Compliance (look ma, that's my field!).

Potential leg-up into a real State Department internship next summer? I think so.

People I will miss while in Germany:

2011-07-11T21:40:00.003-05:00

-The TKS crowd: Katy, Ben, Charlie, Caitlin

-The Omaha crowd (if two's company...): Laura, Rachelle, and my mom

-The entire Knox poli sci/IR department, and every single one of the people involved in it

-The Cool ATP/ASA Alumnae: Paige, Krista, Katie, Scolange, Tasha, Erin...

-The Cool Current Members of ASA: Alyssa (Oops, better make that a singular "member.")

Subtle, I am not.

time deficit

2011-07-10T21:12:00.002-05:00

In a world in which I had time to do these things, I would like to learn Arabic, how to play the guitar, and how to code in HTML.

beer putsch

2011-07-09T21:05:00.005-05:00

Sometime in April, I want to say, a very inebriated Charlie and I were at the Broadview discussing the woes of coming up with topics for our European Governments papers to the tune of bad karaoke next door and fried eggs. Charlie, in his drunken brilliance, decided I should write my paper on NATO as a major obstacle to the EU's foreign policy integration.

Fast forward to now, and an email from Daniel (professor, who is known only as Daniel) which says that my paper, with some revising, is publishable.

Must follow Charlie around when he is inebriated more often.

(Also: oh dear god.)

What the company-wide email from my boss should've said

2011-07-01T16:50:00.004-05:00

Dear the best employees in the entire world,

I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting through this immensely stressful week, which has made many of you hate the jobs you usually love. I know that Matt can no longer speak in complete sentences. I know that Joe has not slept in 48 hours. I know that Erin is secretly hoarding five gallon-sized strawberry kiwi Snapples under her desk. I apologize with the utmost sincerity for making you all work with the most frustrating client in the entire world, who is constantly unreachable but does not care how late she makes everyone stay, who does not care if she asks you to delete her entire YouTube channel and then five minutes later decides she wants it back, who ruins people's schedules with her unreliability, who will never be a star and will never accept this fact and thus make everyone suffer for all eternity. I further apologize for the fact that she is my daughter, and therefore I will always have an innate paternal tendency to indulge her wants and desires that will only be overcome after she has REALLY gone over the edge. To express my gratitude to you all for putting up with this shit, you can all have the next week off, and I do solemnly swear that this will be the last you hear from this client for awhile.

What I actually got:

Good afternoon,

Thank you all for the hard work you put in this week on the [client's name] project. Feel free to go home an hour early today, and enjoy your 4th of July weekend.

...

Eh, I'll take it.

Things I have learned about myself recently:

2011-06-28T21:35:00.002-05:00

1. I am incredibly, incredibly impulsive.

2. I can be extremely rational, pragmatic, and effective when given ten minutes to react. Otherwise, I am still the same emotional ball of goo I was when I decided that my entire happiness revolved around acquiring a pumpkin. Oh wait, that was last fall. Well then.

3. I tend to view "being wrong," whatever that means, as failing.

4. I have the utmost respect for experience as a condition for seniority, but only when coupled with the ability to not be a haughty ass.

5. I judge people based on their usage of "its" and "it's." This is by far the most commendable quality on this list.

Things I have done since I got home approximately 5 hours ago:

2011-06-25T20:51:00.002-05:00

1. Looked at the GIN calendar. Saw that we have a two-day retreat planned for the fall. Laughed maniacally. Enjoy yourselves, ladies. I will be rendezvousing with German politicians and drinking German beer (because that is apparently all that one drinks in Germany).

2. Watched Megamind. More maniacal laughing.

3. Read the Mortar Board magazine that came in the mail while I was gone, because that is what the cool kids do.

gay girl in damascus.

2011-06-15T18:39:00.002-05:00

Why did we believe the Gay Girl in Damascus blog? Why did we think, in a repressive and close-minded society, that a lesbian woman could be comfortably out and displaying her sexuality openly on the Internet? Why did we believe, in a country that has condoned honor killings for homosexual activity, that a lesbian woman's father would defend her to the security forces, who have killed hundreds of Syrians over the past several months precisely for being outspoken?

(For those not up to speed: blog appears that is allegedly the writings of Syrian-American Amina Arraf, a lesbian living in Damascus. Blog gains large following, especially after it is announced that Amina has been kidnapped by the Syrian authorities. Finally, blog's true author, 40-year-old graduate student Tom MacMaster, posts to say that the whole thing is fiction.)

We believed because we desperately want to think that the stories we've heard about Syrian (and, more broadly, Middle Eastern) culture simply aren't true. We want to believe that the Syrian government does not brutally crush dissidents. We want to believe that Syria and countries like it are becoming more open and tolerant. Despite all evidence to the contrary, we want to believe things are going well.

Yet the facts remain: Syria is comparatively secular for a Middle Eastern state, but it is not liberal. Bashar al-Assad, once a quiet ophthalmology student, has followed in his father's footsteps. The country is rife with sectarian tensions, both ethnic and religious, and has only maintained a semblance of stability via some of the strictest free speech restraints in the region. The culture is extremely socially conservative. There are inklings of change on the lips of protesters across the country, but even if the Assad regime does fall, it will be decades upon decades before these grow into full-blown progress.

These are not bright, shiny prospects. They are optimistic, if at all, in a very far-reaching sense. Still, we would like to be optimists here and now. And that's why we believed.

I think I am getting un-stress headaches.

2011-06-14T21:25:00.003-05:00

I have had headaches (or rather one headache, as it probably never goes away entirely and just sits there waiting to bite me in the temple) for the past five days. I have reached the conclusion that this is because there is not enough stress in my life. I wake up, study French, go to work, study French, do fun things, read before bed, and go to sleep. This is the least stressful my life has been in at least 9 months, and I don't think my body knows what to do with itself except create pain.

Must create more stress.

summer reading list

2011-06-11T19:11:00.006-05:00

(Please suggest additional books; I will read all of them eventually!)

The Divine Comedy, Dante Alighieri (because I feel like I should read this at some point in my life)

Good Bones and Simple Murders, Margaret Atwood (This will be my 14th Margaret Atwood book. Oh dear.)

Parrot and Olivier in America, Peter Carey (Thanks, Economist top books list!)

La Reine Margot, Alexandre Dumas (I left this book on a plane once without finishing it. I have never found another copy, nor have I forgiven myself.)

Twenty Years After, Alexandre Dumas (Sixth Dumas book. So much love for Dumas.)

Less Than Zero, Bret Easton Ellis (Thanks, Thought Catalog list of depressing books!)

The Good Soldiers, David Finkel (...I like war stories.)

To the End of the Land, David Grossman (I may really like war stories.)

The Perfect Storm, Sebastian Junger (Phenomenal journalist. War is one of the single most amazing journalistic assignments ever undertaken.)

Crazy, Benjamin Lebert (Read his Der Vogel ist ein Rabe for class. Loved it. Must read more.)

The Media Relations Department of Hizballah Wishes You a Happy Birthday, Neil MacFarquhar (Supposed to have read it for Seibert's class, but, ya know, papers and shit.)

The Imperfectionists, Tom Rachman (It is a book about journalists. Geek moment.)

While Mortals Sleep: Unpublished Short Fiction, Kurt Vonnegut (This will be my 20th Vonnegut book. I may have a problem. I also don't know why I keep track of these things.)

Brief Interviews With Hideous Men, David Foster Wallace (because I have not read anything of David Foster Wallace's and I feel like this is a gap in my fiction reading)

Infinite Jest, David Foster Wallace (see above)

Seal Team 6: Memoirs of an Elite Navy Seal Sniper, Howard E. Wasdin (...I may really, really, really like war stories.)

The Political Brain, Drew Weston (Supposed to have read it for Andy's class. Actually made it through about 3/4 of this one. Will finish.)

Revolutionary Road, Richard Yates (because I have not read anything of Yates' and this is bad)

Spieltrieb, Juli Zeh (German professor gave a talk on this book. Sounds endlessly fascinating. Must read.)

Things to do at work when you finish all of your projects by noon:

2011-06-10T21:15:00.005-05:00

1. Read the entire website of a client for whom you're writing video blog scripts. Attempt to mimic writing style exactly. Realize that will only make you sound stupid. Attempt to make client sound smarter yet still genuine. Results minimal.

2. Watch every video Derren Brown has ever made. Become convinced that your life is a hypnotic illusion.

3. Find a copywriting blog. Read the entire blog.

4. Peruse Chronicle of Higher Education website. Write "nerd" across forehead with black Sharpie.

5. Visit the website of every other advertising agency in Omaha.

6. Creep on LinkedIn instead of Facebook because it looks more professional.

7. Take at least 25 bathroom breaks.

8. Test the reading level of every press release you have written so far. Discover you write, on average, at a college-freshman reading level. Remember that all copy should be written at the sixth-grade level to make it accessible to the widest possible audience. Despair.

9. Read everything Thought Catalog has published within the last week.

10. Watch office buddy use After Effects to change people into zombies.

11. Play KenKen. Smash high score with a 40 second solution. Bask in the excellence of your life, hypnotic illusion or otherwise.

learning a language

2011-06-08T20:35:00.003-05:00

I am convinced that, if I can learn French, I can do anything. French people make statements into questions with inflection alone and don't pronounce consonants at the end of words except for C, R, F, and L and insist upon spelling words with accents that do not change pronunciation. If I can learn French, I can learn Arabic, even though that entails learning an entirely different writing system in addition to learning the language. At least the French alphabet is identical to the English one.

(Observation: languages seem to insist on assigning strange terms to the letter "y". For example, y in German is "upsilon," which is very Greek and nothing like any other German letter. Similarly, the French y is "eegrehk," which sounds like a Sherpa chasing a mountain goat.)

laide

2011-06-07T20:49:00.004-05:00

Je vais assez bien. Je ne sais pas. Hommes sont mal.

^ Look! I can complain in French now! (Well, okay, in very simplistic French with unclear adjective usage. But still. Learning!)

Things I do during the school year that I don't really do during the summer:

2011-06-04T21:06:00.004-05:00

1. Compulsively clean things.

2. Text. I am essentially a work-hermit during the summer.

3. Not read books for fun. I have already read two books since I've been home. Two fiction books!

4. Eat an incredible amount of breakfast bagels.

At the beginning of the year, I set some goals.

2011-06-01T21:25:00.003-05:00

1. see a show in Studio Theatre

Done! Three times, in fact.

2. go to a dance concert

Done!

3. go to Kaldi's for reasons other than covering events for TKS

Done! Ignore the fact that this was mostly done over the course of the past week in the company of Katy, Charlie, and Ben, sipping smoothies and analyzing Hizballah while the rain drummed on car roofs outside.

4. find Kastle Kreme. Eat Kastle Kreme. Love Kastle Kreme.

Found. Did not eat. Will pursue in the future.

5. investigative reporting. Ideas in the works: Are We Selective Or Not, Make Up Your Mind; How Effective is the Honor Code At Deterring Cheating/Plagiarism; Why Phonathon Sucks (Or, I Might Be Bitter)

Wrote Why Phonathon Sucks, along with a series on student initiative, a series on balancing academics and extracurriculars, and an in-depth on college newspaper funding. Why Phonathon Sucks won best in-depth story in the state and made the Phonathon program change its name. An overwhelming win.

6. spend more time with people outside of class/work

Such a massive success.

7. get a public library card

Fail. In my defense, I did not have anything resembling the time to read for fun.

8. use said library card

Not applicable.

9. find a way to make it to the Harry Potter midnight premiere, regardless of classes/work/etc.

Done! Even though I had to give a presentation on Nietzsche's political philosophy at 9:30 the next morning. Definitely worth it.

10. apply to study abroad

Done! To Berlin in the fall.

Other things done:

-first SNu party

-first Broadview visit

-first Jazz Night

-first (of many) ICPAs

-trek through a blizzard because the power going out in my building CANNOT KEEP ME FROM MY BELOVED INTERNET

-independent research

-major change

-first publication in Catch

I'm satisfied.

first day.

2011-06-01T21:20:00.001-05:00

Today, I wrote an article, redid an advertisement, and designed an entire marketing strategy, complete with web, video, and Facebook copy.

I love my job.

Well.

2011-05-30T19:39:00.002-05:00

Last night was the first in a week that was not spent with Katy, Charlie, and Ben. It's strange to think that, unless we roadtrip to New York this summer (and that won't happen unless Ben finds a job), I won't see Katy and Charlie until January, and I won't see Ben until god knows when.

I have realized that, aside from Shel, Laura, and my parents, there is really no one here that I want to see. I want to enjoy my city again, not the people in it.

The people I want to see are in Minnesota, Tompkins 12, or the top floor of Shneifert finishing off the last of the beer.

I will keep busy and not think about it.

Four summer projects:

1. Full-time job

2. Redesigning my dad's company's marketing plan

3. Learning enough French to test out of 101A (and ideally the entire 101 sequence)

4. Not forgetting how to speak German

Dynamite

2011-05-29T12:38:00.003-05:00

will always be the song that best represents this year: pulling off of the highway on the way to a journalism conference to have a dance party in a rest stop parking lot with your best friends.

inescapable

2011-05-26T23:26:00.003-05:00

Dear roommate,

I came home tonight after a very bittersweet parting of ways with my beloved voice teacher, who has been accepted for a tenure-track position at a school in Connecticut, to find a cage sitting in the middle of the room.

After poking the cage several times, I have discovered that there is no animal inside. There is, however, an entire bag of rabbit food.

...

Care to explain?

Anna and Charlie are going to die.

2011-05-25T00:04:00.002-05:00

Charlie: You are not in the library.

Anna: No; I've disconnected my Internet and am not wearing pants. This is the level of desperation I have reached.

Charlie: ...

Charlie: Are you okay?

Anna: Yes. I will probably have a mental breakdown in the next couple of days, but I'll get over it.

Charlie: Mine is scheduled for Thursday.

like a train on a track

2011-05-24T22:07:00.002-05:00

I can't research and write a paper in two days.

I have a felt such a strong attachment to my room lately. I really do not value it enough. It has lovely windows.

I cannot read you, and it's not making this any easier.

I cannot do this.

all I do is win

2011-05-24T19:50:00.002-05:00

Roommate: The TV's going into storage tomorrow.

Me: HAHAHAHA the Glee finale is tonight and that is the last show that hasn't ended yet that I watch regularly HAHAHAHAHA.

Me, out loud: ...okay.

talk

2011-05-23T18:50:00.005-05:00

My mother has dubbed me "mouth deficient." I cannot whistle, I cannot blow up a balloon. It took me forever to learn how to suck out of a straw. In high school, I convinced myself that I could not chew with my mouth closed because I wouldn't be able to breathe (disregarding the fact that I have a nose which functions perfectly fine). As summer dragged on, I would get more and more anxious because I would soon be able to eat my meals in the school cafeteria or in the break room at work without my parents begging me to please just close my mouth.

My mouth and my mind move at the same speed. I have been told that I have to slow down, not because I'm saying too much or I'm not explaining myself, but literally because others do not know what words just came out of my mouth.

I am sitting in a third floor cubicle in the library watching someone try to parallel park, because this is obviously much more interesting and productive than writing my term paper. I am doing a comparative analysis of the EU and NATO, arguing that the reason why the former has not developed a common security policy is because the latter makes one virtually unnecessary. Someone has just sat down in the cubicle opposite me and started sucking violently through a straw. I would like to punch her in the back of the head. The thought of simply asking her to be quieter has not yet occurred to me.

study break

2011-05-22T23:32:00.002-05:00

Ben, via Charlie's Twitter: I am a freshman with many whale friends. I loooooooooooove krill. In my mouth!

Anna: *sneezes*

Charlie: May the Lord bless you.

Ben: Females won't see male counselors.

Katy: Because bitches are different.

Sam: Okay, so it isn't twat, piss, damn, or fuck...what is it?

^ Trying to guess the password on Alicia's phone, which is a four-letter verb.

standards

2011-05-21T19:10:00.001-05:00

I have decided that USA is my new favorite TV channel, primarily because it has NCIS marathons at least twice a week and is currently having a Pirates of the Caribbean marathon.

So many guilty pleasures in one place!

stress(less)

2011-05-21T10:32:00.001-05:00

Originally, I was concerned that I just finished my research for my Hezbollah paper last night. It is due on Monday.

Then I remembered that I am a fast writer.

Two pages in twenty minutes. TAKE THAT.

It does not take 20 minutes to eat string cheese.

2011-05-20T19:49:00.002-05:00

Dear roommate,

It is a stick of string cheese. It is not a noisy food. STOP MAKING IT NOISY.

Also, if I can hear your music through your headphones over the TV, you are making yourself deaf.

Also, wear a bra.

Also, learn to walk. You look like a bald Neanderthal.

how to be a normal human

2011-05-19T22:35:00.002-05:00

I have decided, should I ever stumble across a time machine, I shall meet up with Niccolo Machiavelli, Maximilien Robespierre, Voltaire, Otto von Bismarck, and T.E. Lawrence.

Hezbollah paper

2011-05-18T23:15:00.001-05:00

I'm hoping that if I clap my hands enough times, it will materialize in front of me.

useful things learned at tonight's etiquette dinner:

2011-05-13T23:41:00.003-05:00

1. The blade of the knife is turned inwards (towards the plate) so that you would have to flip it over if you wanted to slit the throat of the person to your right, giving him time to react and defend himself.

2. The fork, however, is still easily accessible for use in assassinations.

3. In Continental-style dining, the tines of the fork are turned upside down when the fork is resting on your plate so that you could not grab the head of the person to your right and slam it down on his plate, thereby impaling him on the tines.*

*This is probably not the reason the tines are turned upside down, but it is a valid point.

excuse my ranting

2011-05-11T23:47:00.000-05:00

I hate my sorority right now.

There is virtually nothing about it of which I want to be a part.

I do not want to be one of those people who values our success at the Greek Week Talent Show over our despairing academics and our disappointing level of enthusiasm for service projects. I do not want to associate with people who cannot get things done.

I do not want to be sitting next to the girl who screams, "Hey, FIJI! I live right next to you! I'm the naked girl on the first floor!" I do not want to call her my sister.

I do not want to deal with a president who is perpetually in a bad mood and does everything in her power to demean other members and who will criticize members for not coming to her, despite that when they do, she ignores their concerns.

I am so, so done.

Dear people,

2011-05-09T22:56:00.002-05:00

When something is due on Monday, it is due on Monday.

Do you do this in your classes? No wonder our GPA is falling.

third person

2011-05-08T23:38:00.004-05:00

Anna has signed and addressed 45 poorly written, typo-ridden letters for Triple fucking Play.

Anna has twelve more letters to sign and address. Anna does not know twelve more people off-campus to whom to send letters.

Anna appreciates it when people do their work and pick up their shit so she can do homework and not address letters.

bastardized Rilo Kiley lyrics

2011-05-07T23:11:00.002-05:00

We'll go to Green Oaks, and we'll go to Irish Fest, and we'll go to New York City, to play and exploit the booming music scene.

Bring with you history, and make [it] your hard-earned feast.

It's not an attempt at decency. (It's anything but.)

eine unvernünftige Entscheidung

2011-05-06T00:29:00.002-05:00

The boy is very drunk. The girl knows that this is the time to slip away. She checks her phone because she forgot to wear her watch. She knows this is a sign she is not thinking as she should be, but she puts her phone back in her pocket and continues on, hoping he will follow and carry her back to where he's been waiting in line for ice cream. He does.

After falling onto a couch in the apartment of a friend they only know marginally well, he rests his head on her shoulder. His hair is softer than she expected.

bet

2011-05-04T23:41:00.002-05:00

A while ago, Ben and I made a bet.

The rules of the bet:

1. Each person must mix applesauce with cinnamon (in my case) or curry powder (in Ben's case).

2. Each time you shake your spice container, the other person must shake his or hers in order to ensure equal amounts of spices.

3. The applesauce must be heated.

4. You must eat the contents of your bowl within 10 minutes.

5. Only one glass of water is allowed to help wash the applesauce down.

6. If Ben finishes his bowl, Anna must lay out two newspaper pages for him.

The results of the bet:

3 minutes in: Anna finishes her applesauce. Surprisingly, a bowl of applesauce mixed with an entire container of cinnamon is actually not that bad.

7 minutes in: Ben finishes his glass of water.

8 minutes in: Ben finishes his applesauce.

9 minutes in: Ben heads off in search of "white, bland food."

10 minutes in: "I'm going to make some really horrible shits for the next couple of days."

15 minutes in: "I'm not sure if I feel bad or just unsettled."

20 minutes in: "I think I need some medicine, guys."

30 minute in: "My tummy really needs medicine, guys."

40 minutes in: "THIS GINGER ALE IS REALLY NOT HELPING."

For the next hour or so: "Ughhhhhhhhhhhh."

For the rest of forever: Anna is perfectly fine.

This definitely constitutes winning.

as if something had shifted

2011-05-04T00:34:00.001-05:00

And you don't even remember. You don't remember.

But it is probably for the best.

Flunk Day, the unofficial version

2011-05-02T23:41:00.002-05:00

Boy quickly became very drunk. There may have been cuddling and sleeping-upon and a tickle battle and some close-contact dancing. The last two may have occurred while Boy was entirely sober.

But this is my favorite:

"I like you."

(An alternative title for this post could and should be "Things To Let Go Of.")

Flunk Day, the official version

2011-05-02T23:35:00.005-05:00

1. Pancakes for breakfast courtesy of the lovely Andrea Johnston.

2. Braiding Aaron's hair.

3. Yes, I did wash dishes on Flunk Day.

4. Impromptu dance party featuring the dance prowess of Ben Reeves.

5. (Inflatable) horse races.

6. RACING AROUND ON TOILET GO-KARTS YES

7. Fetching. Lots of fetching.

8. The wonder that is drunken Charlie.

9. Scariest game of Jenga ever.

10. Invasion of Charlie and Erin's suite.

11. Collective Anna watches the faculty-friar softball game and cheers for the faculty.

12. A Lady Gaga impersonator (somewhere between terrifying and awful)

13. The best Flunk Day issue I have ever made.

Thanks to Ben, Aaron, Andrea, Katy, Caitlin, Charlie, Krista, Anna, John, Jim, Erin, Sara, Andrew, and everyone else who made it happen. Today was perfect.

bin Laden is dead.

2011-05-02T00:18:00.003-05:00

Defeating a terrorist organization is not like defeating a traditional enemy in wartime. A traditional enemy has a face. He is tangible. You can shoot him and see him bleed. You can watch him fall before your eyes. You know that when you have battered him enough, he will eventually surrender out of regard for his own life.

A terrorist organization is an ideology. You cannot touch it, though sometimes it may seem palpable as the air thickens. You cannot shoot it and expect it to die. You cannot know when it will surrender. It may have so many limbs that when one is cut off, the others continue to live on unhindered. It is not afraid of death because it knows it will live far beyond the moment. Or perhaps it does not fear death. Either way, it is very difficult to kill.

The death of Osama bin Laden has tremendous symbolic importance for American morale and domestic policy. It provides a rallying point for a country largely divided in its foreign policy. It allows for the feelings of patriotism that exploded after 9/11 to surface again. It certainly looks good for President Obama, though the amount of direct influence he had is minuscule.

But the death of a figurehead does not signal the death of an idea. Thousands will continue to follow his lead. We have killed Osama bin Laden, but we have not killed what he has created, and we have not changed that the idea continues to ring true for many around the world.

The War on Terror is far from over, if it can ever end (which I believe it can't).

Nothing has changed.

I love Knox College.

2011-04-28T23:44:00.004-05:00

Tomorrow, I will be throwing pies at my friends for charity. Afterwards, we'll go hear a talk on international terrorism presented by my German professor.

Juxtaposition is a fabulous thing.

what is sleep

2011-04-25T00:10:00.003-05:00

Seibert chose the worst possible week to have a mandatory field trip, and I chose the worst possible week to set deadlines for two in-depth stories and participate in my one required debate for European Governments.

IES chose the worst possible week to have scholarship applications due. So much translating.

I chose the worst possible weekend to schedule composite pictures, Ashley chose the worst possible weekend to hold our formal, and the Honor Board chose the worst possible weekend to finish the selection process for new members.

(It is worth noting that none of these things are particularly tortuous in and of themselves, but having to do all of them in one week is a bit...much.)

In other news, Charlie and I have banded together and have decided to make t-shirts saying "I am not going in the fucking mud pit." We figure they will get our point across.

this is it

2011-04-23T23:17:00.002-05:00

Today, I made the decision to double major in international relations and modern languages.

Last term when I took Intermediate Macroeconomics, each question on each study guide was a torment. The amount of work was staggering, which is not unusual for classes that I take; what was different was the complete lack of desire to start it, much less finish it.

In order to get on track and graduate on time, I'll be teaching myself French this summer. This too is staggering. But it is an invigorating challenge, one I know I can meet head-on with enthusiasm and dedication. That, I believe, is the difference. That's how I know I've made the right decision.

Dear roommate,

2011-04-23T18:13:00.002-05:00

I have a few novel ideas for you.

1. Try going outside. Or, you know, at least leaving your chair instead of playing the Sims for seven hours straight.

2. Pull your pants up. No one wants to know that you're not wearing any underwear.

3. Do not masturbate when I am in the room.

That is all.

spelling bee

2011-04-22T21:09:00.002-05:00

Things could've gone better. (For example, I could've pronounced "denouement" correctly.)

But Boy told me I did a good job, so everything is perfectly okay.

jazz night

2011-04-21T23:40:00.002-05:00

Caitlin: I am Katie Johnston. Butts.

You must stop being so attractive, and you must stop saying hi to me, and you must stop reading articles over my shoulder because you are too close, way too close, and I will never be drunk enough to pull you closer or sane enough to move away.

Dear certain members of the Knox student body,

2011-04-21T18:53:00.002-05:00

Don't like something? Cool. Fine. Egging it is not the solution.

I am ashamed to be on the same campus as you.

livid with a side of PMS

2011-04-19T21:50:00.003-05:00

Do not make me angry. I hold a grudge like none other, and I will burn the edges of your self-respect until the shred that remains is hardly visible. I am relentless. I will spit, scrape, struggle, and sear, but most of all, I will frustrate you, because frustration is a special kind of feeling that lingers long after its inception.

I am not a nice person. I am sorry if you believed that.